View from the train

View from Cabo-de-Ram

River on one side and sea on the other!

Rocks in mid-sea

Kingfish Fry

              Our much awaited trip to Goa finally did materialize and it was a much-needed fun break for all of us.  The numerous weekends parties for “Goa trip planning” was actually half the fun, the actual trip being the other half.

Our trip to Goa last to last weekend was a great hit! Goa is awesome, whatever the season, but Goa in the monsoons is just something else, its almost divine.  We were a large group of about 14 people in all (6 kids, youngest one is as young as 9 months).  We travelled by train Konkan Railway (KR) to Madgaon and had the hotel pickup from there on.  We stayed in a resort called Dona Sylvia in South Goa.  The resort opens on to Cavelossim beach in the southern end of the Goan coastline.  While the climate was good, raining in the nights mostly and drier days so that travelling was easier, we were not allowed to go much into the water on the beach.  There are strong undercurrents in the sea during monsoons, besides a wave of jellyfish that had attacked the Goan coastline during this time was another deterrent.  Nevertheless, we spent a good two hours in the water one morning, the only time the guard let us step into the water was during the high tide.  Even that “one” time was surely a memorable experience, backing it up with a stint in the swimming pool for good measure!

The Cavelossim beach is pristine with almost white sands.  It was not just beautiful it was stunning, picture perfect like they say. The kids simply had a blast in the water including our youngest group member!

We did the rounds of the “must-see” jaunts, cutting out a couple of them though.  The Church of St. Francis Xavier was a visual treat for the first-time visitors.  Cabo-de-Rama is another must-see for the awesome view it offers. This small fort overlooking the sea, is a heritage site.  The panoramic view of the sea from the top is simply breath-taking!  We did the regular Panjim shopping for cashews, port wine, beach print shirts and the like, along with sampling sumptuous Goan fare on the seaside shacks. 

Three days just flew by and we are still struggling to shrug off the “depression” of the holiday having ended so quickly, an aftermath of a wonderful break!

My son’s impression of school is what he has heard/seen from his older sis’s version of her school.  So school for him is the big, tall building where we drop “Didi” off everyday. Guess, so he wasn’t really prepared to go to a school that didn’t look anything like it! 

The first day was relatively ok since mothers were to accompany them through the session.  Although all the toys were very enticing, leaving Mama to play with it was just not to be! The next day is when the real test began for the mothers.  We were asked to wait outside for the entire duration of the session while the bawling, wailing toddlers had to be pried (from the mothers) away to class.  The sessions were short at first which were gradually increased through the week.  The sessions were as traumatic for mothers as it was for their little ones.  Waiting outside with ears perked up to hear for the wails of their little ones, mothers were jittery and nervous.  Each trying to tell the other about how soon they are sure to adjust to the new school, teacher and schedule in general.  After the wait, as the kids are sent back the wailing and bawling sessions resume with renewed vigour!

My little soldier was no different and used to wail his lungs out twice each day.  He took a whole of 2 weeks to adjust to his new routine.  But soon I found that he had started enjoying his time in school.  On asking him repeatedly about his day at school I could extract snippets of information.  Initially, the resistance was at the mere mention of school at home.  The next change I observed was that he used to love his walk to and from school. Watching stray dogs, cats and birds, running down the slopes and splashing in little puddles of rain water were his favorite activities.  As the school gate approached, his “nahi Mama, nahi Mama” would start. 

Nowadays, he willingly gets dressed for school, asks to carry his own school bag and is off.  The crying has now almost completely stopped and he looks forward to going to school each day, something I thought would never happen at all! So, to all mothers of cranky toddlers, don’t lose heart, they will come around soon!

Another heartening part of the entire playschool exercise for me is that he is getting toilet trained there.  I was asked to stop making him wear diapers to school and have been told that they make sure he uses the toilet (which Iam told he actually does!) or change him in case of an accident.  All I have to do is to ensure there is a change in his school bag.  Toilet training my little soldier has been a challenge for me and this sure is helping me a lot, I must confess!

All in all, it has sure been as much of a learning experience for me as it is for my little soldier!

 

Time (or the lack of it) will probably be the most precious commodity for you, once you have that new baby you have been expecting in your arms.  You won’t be able to recognize your life from what it once was to what it now is.  Things that took you just five minutes now take you fifteen minutes or longer.  Here are a few tips that might help retain sanity in your lives or salvage most of what is left of it. 

Use your answering machine. It is most likely that you will be too exhausted to answer every call that comes in to congratulate you after you have had a new baby.  Putting the details of the birth announcement (sex, name, birth weight, length etc) on your answering machine greeting and encourage everyone to leave a message because you might not be answering your phone for several weeks.   

Invest in speaker phones or cordless phones with headsets. These things allow you mobility as otherwise you will quickly get frustrated just sitting in one location for any period of time. 

Make sure you keep your baby’s diaper bag always ready to go at all times.  Use a checklist to make sure you have picked up everything needed.   

In case you have older children, keep a backpack with things need for an outing ready for them too.  This may include things like snacks, personal items, toys to keep them busy and anything else your older children may need. 

Keep your own bag ready.  Most parents end up shoving their things into the diaper bag (which in itself is not a bad idea) but if it’s a separate bag that you want, make sure you keep filled with all things you need whilst on a short outing. 

Add at least one hour to your preparation time before you leave home.  Though preschoolers may get take just thirty minutes to get fully groomed, equipped and are ready to go.  It may take longer to get an infant fed, cleaned and dressed; there could be a last minute emergency to be taken care of such as a diaper leak or a throw-up. 

Stick to slip-ons.  As a new mother, you never know when you will need to run outside for one reason or another.  Chances are you will have a baby in your arms and won’t be able to sit down to put on your shoes or perhaps even have a hand free to slip them on while standing up.  It’s during such times that it helps to have a pair of shoes that you can slip into without having to use your hands at all.   

Keep an emergency baby supply station in the room you most use.  Whether it’s the living room or family room, find yourself a decorative bag, box or other container that you can throw burp clothes, pacifiers, favourite toys and other necessities into, so you don’t have to run around the house wasting valuable seconds. Trust me; the emergency stash will be the handiest thing around. 

Avoid using clothes that show stains.  Clothes with patterns and dark colours don’t need to be dry cleaned and don’t give away the stains.  A little planning with your outfits help you just wipe off the mess and get on with your day and nobody will even know it was ever there. 

Always have a supply of energy or meal replacement bars or shakes available.You may not get to eat as often as you want or need to, so having these on hand will ensure that you get some nourishment even when you don’t have time to sit down for a meal. 

Keep a safe, entertaining spot for baby in every room (including the bathroom).  A bouncer in the bathroom, a play pillow in the living room, the crib in the bedroom, and so forth are ways to reserve a place in every room for the baby.  This way, if I have to put the little one down for a moment, she’ll have a safe place to sit and something to keep her busy.  

Cover your furniture with slip covers you can easily wash. Okay, so if you can’t afford such luxuries, at least get yourself a nice blanket or sheets to do the job.  It will catch a variety of messes, saving you from having to scrub the couch, and you can just pull it off before unexpected guests come through the front door, so they’ll think your place looks fashionably decorated all the time.

Being a mom of an 8 year old, I appreciated the movie ‘Taare Zameen Par’ as it most definitely showed us reality from a child’s point of view!  Dyslexic or not, the pressure our kids deal with in their little lives is not “little” at all. 

While as a parent I firmly believe in being a mom who dislikes basking in the glory of laurels or achievements of my children (however tempting it might be).  At the same time, I do think I am the only person(other than their Dad,  of course) who can guide and hone their abilities and latent talents.  This, so that they can identify their own capabilities which will help them in their lives! 

While providing positive encouragement and opportunities for different things is a must, doing it without the hint of pressure of winning is the tough part for most of us.  The line to tread is so fine, the balance can be nothing but perfect which ofcourse few of us parents are able to master.  I would love to take cues from successful parents on this one! 

While achievements, medals and certificates are not everything in life, I think these do help somewhere in making our kids realise the value of hard work and discipline.  Something unheard of in today’s times of instant gratification!  So I guess I would like to give my children the opportunities to learn and master skills that they love and if they are able to use the same for monetary enhancement, that is a bonus!!  What better than being paid to do something you love??

‘To have or not to have’ was the BIG question that was doing the rounds in our minds. This one in respect to whether or not to go for another baby.  At a time when most of our friends around had only a single child, things seemed hunky-dory for a while.  Gradually, the change started creeping in, it was so minute that you really had to look hard to notice it.  It kind of began with my older daughter’s (doll) reluctance to go home after playtime, not wanting to leave her friends for the night.  Having visitors (specially ones with little kids) were eagerly looked forward to.  But the joy in anticipation and the fun times spent together would soon dissolve into an emotional trauma when the time came for them to leave! Nobody who comes home should go back!  I started getting an idea of the loneliness my doll was grappling with.  While she never openly asked for a sibling apart from a couple of times, she wanted one desparately and it was apparent to anyone who cared to look. 

We had always told her that her “cousins” were her brother and sister.  But the difference between a ‘cousin brother’ and ‘real brother’ was revealed to her tender mind by her cousin brother himself.  Second of two siblings, he once unwittingly asked her where her ‘real brother’ was?  The look on my doll’s face broke my heart.  That was the day I decided that Iam not going to let my doll wallow in loneliness and deprive her of a valuable experience of having a sibling in life.  Growing up, sharing, fighting, loving, caring with a sibling are experiences that are not just wonderful but irreplaceable. 

When the little arrived the “don’ts” were more than the “do’s”. “Don’t” carry the baby, the baby doesn’t hold his head yet!”. “Don’t go to close to him, he will catch an infection” . “Don’t touch him with your unwashed hands”. My little doll went through all this and more till she was “allowed” to play with him at an “appropriate” time.  They are now inseparable, the little one adores his big sis and the same goes for her.  Though there are enough spats between the two but I know the vacuum without two would have been too big for any of us to bear!  The beauty of it lies in the moments when I see them sleeping blissfully curled up in each other’s arms early in the morning, my little one laughing hysterically at his sister’s funny antics or his concerned calling out “Didi” when he suddenly misses her presence in the long school hours of the afternoon!

My Little soldier picks up a minimum of two new words each day. The speed at which his vocabulary is increasing simply amazes me.  The effort to learn, use and communicate in our language results in the wonderful baby language which is so unique to each child.  I have attempted to remember and jot it down so I can tell him about it when he grows up! Here is a brief compilation of my Little Soldier’s vocabulary (I am sure to have left out many!!! ))

Goggogi – Godi (Lap/To be carried)
Vindom – Window
Banana – Banana
Cati – Cat
Miang – Cat
Gogi – Doggie
Dajma – Rajma (Kidney beans)
Ammama – GranMa
Ka – The maid
SoSo – Pee
Patty – Potty
Keepi – Keep it
Si – Sit
Poon – Spoon
Pingen – Pigeon
Birdie – Birdie
Chiya – Sparrow
Chapaal – Slippers
Sandaal – Sandals
DD – CD
Mmvie – Movie
Gampa – Ganpati Bappa
Walkie – Walk
Papi – Papad, anything crisp
Icaam – Icecream
Choci – Chocolate
Minta – Meetha (sweet)
Oti – Roti
Daa – Dal (Lentils)
Nnnsie – Nose
Dancie – Dance (Even imitates my daughter’s bharatnatyam steps, ta, thai, tat, thai)
Khatta Teeka – His name for the movie “Khatta Meetha” the old movie about a big Parsi family.
Teeka – Spicy
Chabi – Keys
Pone – Phone
Pan – Fan
Banda – Band (for close)
Cream – Body lotion
Kapika – Mug
Chai – Tea
Camb – comb
Come yea – Come here
Bash – Brush
Teeth – Teeth
Manki – Makhi (Fly)
Monkey – Monkey
Ammanan – Hanuman
Thamda – Thumsup (Code for thumbsucking)
Cean Cean – Clean
Gi – Give
Kachia – Kachra (Dirt)
Joola – Swing
Didi – Big sis
Paani – Water
Ba – Ball
Ca – Car
Big Ca – Truck
Bas – Bus
Uncle – Uncle
Aunty – Aunty

Dadi – GranMa
Dadaji – GranPa

Ceek – Cake

Another one of my travails with my 1.9 year old reads as follows-

My older one was participating in an Inter-school Karate Tournament which was being held at another suburb (which means it was a good half hour drive, without traffic!).  Hubby dearest dropped us and had to attend an important meeting, so I was left to handle both kids.  Changing the older one into the Karate outfit while trying to keep the younger one away from mischief using just the sheer power of my vocal chords. 

Once she was with her friends and instructors, I was “free” to run after my little brat, trying to stop him from dunking his hands into the fish tanks in the lobby or trying to run into the competition arena.  Try explaining why he should not enter a particular area that is cordoned off to a two-year old and you will know.  The immediate reaction is a temper tantrum (throwing himself on the ground in protest, have you heard of “satyagraha”???)I try to pick him up so as not to create a scene and wallow in the pitiful eyes of other mothers (all mothers of only one each) about my inability in handling the kid! Cursing myself all the while for letting my hubby go for the meeting!!! As soon as hubby dearest arrives, I hand over our “bundle” of joy to him.  I try to concentrate on my older ones’ antics and try to tell her to focus on the competition and see the other kids’ performances and take cues from it.But alas, does an 8 year old care for observation? She is busy discussing Barbie dolls and plaiting each others hair with her friends.

Once in the arena, my daughter did manage to bring home a silver medal! My reward for the juggling and patience testing 3 hours )

Meeting up with friends never fails to perk you up. Yesterday was a good friend’s birthday and we decided to meet up and have a lunch party.(The public holiday in school was put to good use!) To make her day special one of us cooked the lunch which proved to be a refreshing change (all of us had had enough of takeaway Chinese!) Another one got a delectable Black Forest cake and the gift ofcourse.  All mommies with their kiddoes running and playing between our legs had a blast, breezers, starters, et all! It sure was fun, not to mention our friend who was really touched for the effort we all had put in just to make her day special! It felt wonderful to have been able to bring happiness to someone on a day that’s important to them. 

Amidst the chatter of the kids, changing baby’s diapers and feeding lunch to toddlers, we mommies shared our experiences on everything from breastfeeding, vaccinations to travelling with kids.  It is a cathartic experience where you can tell your mommy-time stories, miseries and little joys to other moms in similar situations.  What better than a sympathetic ear that listens to your wails and woes!!!

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